An Important Day

Today is an important day for America. Three reasons:

1. It only took 7 and a half months, but Al Franken has been declared the junior Senator from Minnesota. So long as Tim Pawlenty holds up his end of the deal, my boys (and a few girls) the Dems will finally reach that magic 60. If this former SNL funny man actually gets seated, we may be one step closer to the complete irrelevance of Senate Republicans. Kind of. Sort of.
2. We pulled out of the cities and towns in Iraq! We, the United States of America, managed to uphold our agreement with the Iraqi government and actually pulled out on time. M But hey wait! Where is Obama on an aircraft carrier with a "Mission Accomplished" banner this time? I'm just saying... Anyway, it only took 6 years but we're finally on our way out. Kind of. Sort of.
3. Now, this one is by and far the most important: I, Brad Elkins, have managed to post a blog entry for a second day in a row. Now this is truly a feat. Will it continue? No one really knows for sure. I definitely hope so, I'm finding the more I do it the more I enjoy it. That or maybe I just like it because it gives me a reason to shush my parents when they try to talk to me. Whatever the reason, it's still a damn good accomplishment, so please feel free to praise me with comments. Really though, I only got one on yesterday's post. If I don't get more I might not do this anymore...

So with the news of the day out of the way, I've decided that this post is going to be a picture diary of an average day-in-the-life of an American defence (they spell it with a 'c' here,) intern in Berlin.

7:30ish AM: The alarm on my phone goes off. I turn it off because its godawful and annoying.

This is where I do my sleep thang. Also, I spend countless hours surfing the web here instead of going outside and being active. Being a recluse can be so much fun sometimes.

7:45ish AM: I realize that I've been lying in bed half-awake for 15 minutes, and I need to get up if I'm going to make it to work on time.

7:46ish AM: I decide that I have time to spare so I check my email and somehow invariably end up surfing the news and/or checking out my new favorite blog (LOLcats ROFL).

7:58 AM: Actually get up and get in the shower.

8:10 AM: Realize that I've been standing in the shower, completely zoned out for over ten minutes. Realize how much I enjoy warm showers, but panic because I'm probably already going to be late for work. Vow to not check my email when I get up in the morning.

Showertime!

8:20ish AM: As I walk out the door consider grabbing something to eat. Remember I don't have anything quick to eat.

8:20:15 AM: Try closing my door using the "door handle." Remember how much I hate doors and locks in this country (seriously, so complicated for some reason...or just poorly made).

8:20:30ish AM: Walk out the door towards the nearest tram stop.

Chodowiekistraße 31 baby. Home sweet home.

8:21 AM: Call Amelia and wait for her to call me back so I don't get charged international calling fees.

8:26 AM: Get on the tram, and as I'm talking on the phone remember that I am the only one in a very crowded tram talking on a cell phone.

I remember my stop because it is reminds me of Glenn Danzig, of Misfits fame.

8:26:30 AM: Try to play it cool and blend in while still being the only one on the phone (yeah German people, I have a hard time believing none of you have phone calls to make during all that down time on the tram!). Amelia begins to think I'm not interested in talking or just not paying attention.

8:33 AM: I get to Alexanderplatz (big train station for those of you not in the know), and make my way across the plaza to my U-bahn entrance.

8:34 AM: Walk past weird Soviet cement clock thing that has become a makeshift tribute to MJ. Notice that people are leaving weirder and weirder shit there by the day (I'm not just talking about photos, candles, and roses - I'm talking hand drawn art and sculptures).

8:35 AM: Walk down the stairs to the U2 and decide what little store I want to buy an overpriced breakfast item from.

8:35:46 AM: Chicken out at the first three because I think the people working there recognize me and my horrible attempts at German. Each time I buy something from them they just answer me in English and I keep my head down.

8:36 AM: Walk past Dunkin' Doughnuts.

8:36:10 AM: Consider buying a doughnut.

8:36:30 AM: Chicken out again, but tell myself its probably for the best because I don't need it anyway.

8:37 AM: Walk to the platform and buy something from the vender there. At this point I just point to something and have them ring it up before getting out my cash. They generally ask me if I want a bag and if I want a napkin in German, and I just nod and pretend like I know what they're saying. For all I know they could be saying, "nod if you like to stick your thumb up your butt." I nod.

8:38 AM: At this point, my train is still 2 minutes out and I realize I will not be making it to work early like I tell myself I will every morning. Shucks.

8:40 AM: Deal with the massive influx of people trying to get on the train and vie for an actual seat. I was once pushed by an old woman for a seat. I almost pushed her back, but someone beat me to it and stole the seat before she even got to it. Karma. Nevertheless, I still had to stand and that just sucked regardless.

8:55 AM: Get off at my stop and wait with the other people in nicer suits then mine for the M29 bus.

8:57 AM: Well, now I'm not even going to technically be "on time." Promise myself I will do better tomorrow. Get on the bus and pretend like I've been doing this my entire life. I stick out like a sore thumb when the driver asks me something and I just smile and nod. He says something again, and I think he's telling me I look like I stick my thumb up my butt. I nod and smile again.

8:59 AM: Get off the buss and hustle my ass around the corner to work as I pull out my super cool ministry entrance badge to flash to the MPs.

9:01 AM: Flash the badge and try to make confident eye contact with one of the MPs as I walk through. Nine times out of ten I get the brush off.

9:02 AM: Walk up to the main entrance and scan my badge for entry. Feel like a badass for 5 seconds. If I'm lucky there is a tour group waiting to get screened for entry, and if I'm luckier some of them are young and look at me. Feel like a badass for 10 more seconds as I walk to the next secure door.

9:04 AM: Walk out of the elevator and past the other offices on my department floor, hoping no one says anything. They never do.

9:05 AM: Safely in my office, where I will sit until 11:30 AM when it is time for lunch.

The office I share with my internship advisor, Dr. Lutz Holänder. He's tight. You'd like him.

9:07 AM - 9:30 AM: Read the news sites that the government deems safe for me to read. This can at times last the entire period until lunch. Really depends on my work load. The work week or so, this pretty much summed up my entire work day. Except for the first day when my advisor was out and I wasn't granted Internet access. That day I just played with Paint and stared out the window and the concrete low-rise jungle that is Berlin.

My two windows to the world. Both provide limited viewing.

9:30 AM - 11:30 AM: Read endless background and/or policy papers. Summarize them. Occasionally give feedback (never personal opinions, just the opinion of the "German government").

11:30 AM: Sgt. Köhler stands in the doorway to my office and says, "Do you want to join us for lunch?" Seriously, same question, same time. Every day.

11:33 AM: Walk out of the building towards the Stauffenberg annex (where the cafeteria is) with the rest of my department. Generally I walk in silence and everyone else talks about things in German.

Point of clarification: Stauffenberg was one of the main conspirators of the 20 July plot to kill Hitler in 1944. The building I work in is where it all went down. And yes, the film Valkyrie was filmed there. And to the surprise of many Germans, Tom Cruise was there too (since our boy Tom is a #1 stunner for the Church of Scientology, he doesn't get a lot of respect around these parts. I believe the German government classifies Scientology as a cult. Or at least something along those lines).

11:36 AM: Look at the food menu at the cafeteria. Slowly I am beginning to understand more and more of what is being offered. This may be because they generally offer the same thing each day of the week. I'd like to think its because I'm actually learning some German. Kind of. Sort of.

11:38 AM: Feel disgusted by the prospects of eating more heavy, fried German food. Make myself a salad instead.

11:41 AM: Pay for my meal from the same checkout lady each time. She says some stuff to me in German. I smile and nod. Thumb up the butt thing for sure.

11:42 AM - 12:15ish PM: I almost always eat in silence while everyone else has loud conversations in German. Sometimes they stop to tell me what they're talking about. Other times they don't. I don't think I've had an actual conversation over lunch since my first week. Instead, I think about what I'd like to blog about that day. Or how this job better get me a sweet job in DC next year.

12:30 PM: Back to work.

1:oo PM: Daily meeting. I stopped going after the first week because its all in German. The Captain (my boss, and yes, he is a Kapitän) told me I didn't need to go if I didn't want to, so now I just look like I am being extra diligent with my work. Except for Thursdays. Thursday is known in the Navy as "Sailor Sunday," since sailors work 24/7. That day we have cake and pie. I go to those meetings.

3PM - 4PM (generally): Take off for the day. By law, paid federal employees of the Ministry are required to work 9 hour days, and must be in the office from 9 - 3. The other hours they can do either before 9 or after 3. Since I'm not paid, they don't really care how long I'm there for. I usually stay until 3:30 or so...really depends on what I'm doing. The first few weeks it was a struggle to make it until 3, but lately I've been so busy I've been staying sometimes past 4. Those days I really feel like a champ.

Okay so this post is getting pretty long. I think I will save my late-afternoon adventures for another post. Also, I will actually try and post some pictures of Berlin. And maybe if you're lucky some of me IN Berlin. Maybe.

I know I'm trying to get into the habit of doing this daily, but tomorrow my parents and I are heading up to Hamburg for the day, so we shall see. This will be my first time out of Berlin, and could possibly completely change my perception of Germany. Until now, I have been basing all of my conceptions of this country and its people off of Berlin. Many of this city's fair citizens however, have warned me not to judge this country by Berlin. Apparently Berlin is the cheap hooker/bastard child of metropolises in Germany. I don't know, but that's what I hear. Kind of. Sort of. I guess I shall see...

Oh and props to Amelia for sending me my new blog profile photo. I'm jumping for excitement because that is a Los Angeles street sign in Berlin. Who knew they were sister cities?

Pee Pee Ess: Yeah, that link on my name is the story about me from the LC website. Shameless? Yes. Do I care? Clearly, I don't. Should you care? Well, since you are reading this blog...

Well, I Tried

So maybe I'm not quite cut out for this whole blogging thing. I know I promised to write consistently, but hey, life happens. Which I suppose is a good thing, right? I know it's been three weeks, and that sometime in these last 21 days there must have been time for me to update this thing - and I'm sure there has been - but I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it. All day I think about all sorts of interesting things I'd like to blog about; interesting adventures, curious observations, my disgust for the German youth's (actually, all of Germans') obsession with Ed fucking Hardy. That shit is tacky, I'm sorry. Big bejeweled pseudo-G'nR logo graphic T-shirts don't look good on anyone. And no, not even with your all black Hugo Boss belt that is imprinted with "BOSS" every 2cm.

Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent. Anyway, I have really wanted to discus everything I've been doing up until now (and that unfortunately only gets longer and more complicated each time I put this off). I've realized that my hopes of a single giant "sum it up" post might never happen, so from now on I'm just going to do a daily (or as close to it as possible) update, and perhaps I'll throw in some things from the past if I'm feeling real saucy.

I was planning on uploading some suh-weet photos of my life here in Berlin, but unfortunately my father (who is visiting me this week along with my dear mother), picked up my camera and now it suddenly no longer works. More on this later. Well actually hopefully not because that would entail me still not having a working camera...

Well, it's getting rather late here and I like to get my 7 hours in before work, so this might be about it for the evening. I will conclude with a picture for you all to think about.

That's right. Megatron & the Berlin Wall.

More posts soon with real (slightly more serious) pictures and (slightly) more coherent ramblings.

Okay Mom, now you owe me 5 euro.

Obligatory First Post

Well, I promised many of you (and most importantly, myself) that I would start a blog about my (mis-)adventures, trials, tribulations, successes, failures, and general experiences here in Berlin, so here it is.

I know I have already been here for almost 2 weeks, but hey -- I've been busy getting situated.  Look for some updates later today with some of my correspondence to friends and family so you can get a feel for what I've been up to these last few weeks.

I've always found this concept of the blog (or for those of you from a previous era, diary) a bit contrived.  I never quite understood the point when I was younger, and even now it's taken quite a bit of personal convincing to actually sit down and do the damn thing.  I've always felt that it would take up too much of my time and/or I wouldn't know what to say.  While both things may be true, I have found that when spending a considerable amount of time by yourself each day (or consequently just not speaking to anyone because no one speaks your language), you have quite a bit of time for introspection and wouldn't you know it, blogging!

So here it goes, my first concrete attempt at retelling my life through words.  For those of you who know me well enough, you will also know that despite the fact that I now must write considerable lengths of text each day for my (unpaid) job, writing is by and far my most loathed task.  For me, writing is forever associated with deadlines, essays, and just general pain.  Let's face it, I'm a slow writer, so this sort of thing is a big deal for me.

I'm going to go fold my laundry now and hope that someone in the courtyard admires half-naked American men doing domestic chores and decides to strike up a conversation.  Who knows, it's Europe.  It could happen.